It Takes a Village….

“I’m so excited! I have never been this excited in my whole life!”

And so began a recent visit with Ethan.

We had driven down to Chicago to pick him up for four whole days all by himself with Grandma and Grandpa.

I worried just a bit that we would not be able to live up to his expectations - that he would go home from this visit disappointed and not want to come back again. Becki assured me that he was excited about being with Grandma and Grandpa! The weather was not looking as promising as it had several days earlier so some of our planned activities were not going to happen; I worried again.

Our first stop, on the way to Wisconsin, was the Oasis over the Tollway. Ethan loves eating at the oasis, and it works well for Bill and me because we can each get what we want, even if it is from different vendors. We like to sit in the windows above the highway and wonder about the number of trucks both going and coming. Sometimes we can see what they are carrying, but most of the time we have to guess. We were amazed at how well Ethan could read the messages on the sides of many of the trucks. Only certain cursive fonts seemed to stump him.

We got home and after unloading the car and inspecting his bedroom, Ethan and Grandma went outside to inspect the flower beds and the fish pond. Grandpa went to take a nap, a bit worn out after 5 plus hours of driving.

Ethan had a great time “harvesting” the several seed pods I had left in place for just that purpose. He snipped a few things that needed trimming and pointed out several weeds that he instructed Grandma to pull. Then, oh joy of joys, I allowed him to walk into the soybean field behind our house and “harvest” four beans. This was better than all the seed pods in the garden – maybe because this was real harvesting!

Grandpa was still resting so we grabbed a collecting bucket and a pair of clippers and headed to the Ice Age Trail. Ethan was in his element as we hiked and I allowed him to “harvest” flower heads, seed pods, crab apples, and grapes (including some that were now raisins). We talked about the importance of knowing what you were collecting before you touched it and I pointed out the Wild Parsnip, Deadly Nightshade, Stinging Nettles and several other known poisonous plants. We talked about the importance of NOT harvesting protected plants and making sure there were plenty of each plant left behind to reseed the earth. Everything we collected was growing in abundance and is a common plant.

Our bucket was full when we trekked back to the house. We spent a joyous half hour showing Grandpa the results of Ethan’s “harvesting” and then packaged it all to take back to Chicago.

After a “snack” supper (we had had a pretty full meal at the Oasis) we gathered up the now empty collecting bucket, the shears, our sunglasses and this time drove to a different section of the Ice Age Trail.

This time, oh joy and delight, we found several different flowers, some (wormy) apples and two walnuts. We also saw cicadas emerging from their shells and were able to collect a small container full of the discarded shells.

By the time we got home, we were all tired and after reading just a few pages of Ethan’s favorite Shell Guide book, he fell asleep and we followed soon after.

Saturday dawned cloudy, a bit too cool and not very promising, but we headed to the Farmers Market in spite of the weather. It is amazing to watch how vendors respond to an enthusiastic (and knowledgeable) 5-year-old. He picked out a number of items (at my request) and paid for them, engaging each vendor in conversation, collecting a handful of fallen beans in the process. At the end of our hike up and down the several blocks of produce, we turned back to find a “sweet treat”. We were right by the “bakery lady” and she engaged Ethan in conversation. Soon she was asking him if he would like a cookie and she began unwrapping a big M&M cookie. When Bill said those were his favorite, she handed him the other cookie from the two-pack. I reached into my purse to pay for these “purchases” but she waved me away with, “I’m a grandma too!”

We spent the rest of the day playing in the raccoon cave (our basement). Bill and Ethan watched several train videos while Grandma napped, until Ethan asked Grandpa if he could have some “quiet time” in his room. He was sound asleep in minutes – shopping for produce and playing raccoon is hard work!

Sunday it was off to church. Ethan was rewarded for his good behavior with treats after church. Being the pastor’s grandson brings Ethan lots of attention and he always rises to the occasion and engages a great number of people in conversation.

We changed clothes and then headed up to Aunt Deb’s house. Ethan was excited to see Aunt Deb and to see her two dogs again. After joyous greeting with Ethan and two dogs tearing around Aunt Deb’s yard and the flower beds that we had all worked on two months earlier (which were now a riot of color) we headed to a buffet restaurant where, once again, we could each pick what we wanted to eat and try.

We spent most of the afternoon on a nature reserve island near Deb’s house. The giant oaks on the island were dropping their nuts and soon Ethan’s pockets were filled with oversized acorns. Bill and I ambled the quiet, shady paths and rejoiced as our grandson trooped ahead holding his aunt’s hand, joyously exploring various paths, narrating to her the whole time.

Back at Deb’s house, Ethan traipsed around after her examining all her treasures, flower beds, the dogs and cats and their places in the house. They kept up a running conversation and I soaked up some of Deb’s technique with this inquisitive 5 year old. Her training as a child care worker and years of experience with both children and older adults displays itself in a wisdom I envy.

There was a sense of regret when it was time, after supper, to head back to Janesville. Ethan kept himself awake during the hour ride home looking for trains, animals, and was rewarded with a glimpse of Sand Hill Cranes, Blue and White Herons, and other water fowl.

Monday dawned all too soon, and with mutual regret we packed up all the “harvest” and other stuff necessary for a 5 year-old’s visit and headed back down the Tollway to Chicago. Several times on the trip home Ethan wished aloud that he could have stayed at our house longer – after all, we could have done much more harvesting. So we talked about future visits, and future trips we can take together and soon we were all looking forward to whatever adventure is next.

So, what is the theology from this visit? I could certainly talk about “harvesting”. That was Ethan’s focus for this visit. But for me the lesson was more about community – the community it takes to raise a child. It usually takes both Bill and me to keep this energetic child occupied. We are fortunate that we each have interests that Ethan enthusiastically embraces and so he is happy to be with both of us, or one of us at a time.

It is a delight when we go anywhere (in this case the Farmer’s Market and church) that Ethan easily engages with other adults (and children) and they contribute to his knowledge and well-being.

In times past family often lived within “shoutin” distance of one another and a child could go from extended family member to family member. Bill and I each have such fond memories of a grandparent(s) who was so important during our growing up years. Now we are one or several hours away from each other. We cherish the times we are able to get together with Deb and to watch and enjoy her interaction with her nephew. We could entertain Ethan without her, but we are all the richer when we have time with her. It takes all of us to really do a good job raising Ethan to be a healthy, well-rounded, contributing adult.

It takes many people in my life to make/keep me as a healthy, well-rounded, contributing Christian. Bill and I have a wonderful interactive discussion life about many things. But I also cherish the several Bible study groups (each so different from the others) that contribute to my stretching and growing as a Christian. In fact, every time I interact with another person about my faith (Deb, my sister, perhaps you) I grow just a bit, and sometimes more than a bit.

Books are great, and study of God’s Word is essential, but I would not be whole without the input of many people in my life.

It takes a village to grow a child; it takes a village to grow a Christian.



9/09