She may be
only one minute older, the result of being born via C-section, but Veronica is
clearly the OLDER sister, at least in her eyes.
And, so far, Colin doesn’t seem to mind (most of the time) as she bosses
him around, summons him to do her bidding, and scolds him when she thinks he is
misbehaving.
We were on
our annual family retreat early in November, so we were able to closely observe
this behavior pattern in our not-quite-two and a half year-old twin
grandchildren.
Much of
the time they play quite happily in their own area of the room. Tension ensures, as it does with most
siblings, when they both wanted the same book, the same toy, or to sit on
Grandpa’s lap at the same time. Then
Roni would come out swinging and Colin would retaliate by biting or a swing of
his own. Roni tends to be a howler;
Colin seems to mostly cry when he is actually hurt. Most of the time, during this long weekend,
they were pretty content to be together – no doubt having TWO grandparents to
dote on them helped.
Sunday
night, however, Colin had a tummy ache.
He crawled up onto an upholstered chair and lay very quietly; face down
– unusual behavior for this very active, former-preemie. Grandma began to rub his back and his tummy,
which seemed to help. All of a sudden,
Colin raised his head and croaked, “Roni.”
His sister, beforehand apparently oblivious to his distress, looked up
from her play, dropped her toy and came rushing to his side. “Roni”, he croaked again. She touched his face, touched his hair,
patted his shoulder and his back, while murmuring his name several times.
I watched
as his body seemed to relax under her touch - more than it had under mine. Roni, apparently satisfied that she had
worked her tiny magic, returned to her play.
A little while later Colin’s mom picked him up and cradled him like a
baby before putting him to bed.
Thankfully,
by morning, the distress had passed and Colin was back to his cheerful,
exuberant, active self.
That was
the morning we had to check out by 10am.
It did not take Bill and me long to pack up our stuff, but it takes
awhile to pack up all the stuff that 2-year-old twins, and an 8-year-old,
require. I toasted Ethan one of his
favorite bagels, spread it with berry cream cheese, then toasted another for
the twins. I spread the same berry cream
cheese lightly on their two halves of the bagel, and cut each half into
bite-sized pieces. I placed the plate on
the coffee table within easy reach of their play area, hoping this would keep
them busy and out from under foot as Becki packed up.
Colin was
totally engrossed in his play, but Roni would pause from time to time to pop
another piece of bagel into her mouth.
She must have noticed that while her half was disappearing, Colin’s
remained intact. She picked up a piece
of his bagel, whet over to where he was playing, “Colin, open your mouth.” she
said in a remarkably gentle voice.
Pausing in
his play, Colin looked up, opened his mouth, Roni popped the piece of bagel in
and said, “Chew, Colin, chew.” Which he
did!
This
continued until all of the bagel was gone.
Then Roni picked up his sippy cup which contained water, took it over to
him and held it to his lips, “Drink, Colin, drink.” Which he did!
Neither
child acted as though this was anything out of the ordinary. Both were happy and content with their roles
at that moment.
As we were
driving home, I thought more about this snip of beautiful behavior that I got
to witness.
Children’s
behavior is oftimes a reflection of the behavior they see in the adults around
them. Sometimes they are as
self-centered as the adults they observe, but sometimes they are as gentle and
caring as other adults they observe.
In Romans
Paul tells us “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep
with those who weep.”
Christ tells us in several different ways that we are to “give a cup of
water to those who thirst, visit those who are in prison (both literally and
those who are hurting), feed those who are hungry…” and similar reminders of
what it means to “love others as ourselves.”
Obviously
Roni has ministered to Colin other times than just while I was observing. It was a natural action for her and he
accepted it as not unusual.
I pray
that my ministering to others will become and be as natural as Roni’s ministering
to Colin is. I pray that I will not
hesitate, but stop what I am doing to meet the needs of others, without even
taking a second thought. Amen
