Monday, October 18, 2010

In the Valley of the Shadow

I am a part of a weekly Bible study group. This fall we returned to our study of the Psalms using Eugene Peterson’s study guide.

The study encourages the participants to “pray the Psalms” and helps the student to see 12 of David’s Psalms as various types of prayers.

David is one of my favorite persons in Scripture. His vulnerability and subsequent honesty have resonated with me at a deep level. And his Psalms are often conversations with God set in a beautiful prose. The study has encouraged me to look at some of these very familiar Psalms in a new way.

A week or so ago we began our study of Psalm 23. This Psalm is familiar to most people, even those who rarely or never attend church. We hear it most often read at funerals. Many people have memorized its words, but I suspect few have really thought much about the meaning behind those words.

We read this Psalm at funerals because of the words, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

I suspect that most people think this means that time that people experience just before death, while they are dying. But David is talking about a far different place in life.

The Psalmist uses the picture of sheep to talk about his relationship with God. David had been a shepherd for most of his early life. Sheep and the care of sheep were part of the way of life in ancient Israel, so using sheep as an example was a natural idea.

The picture is of sheep faithfully and trustingly following the shepherd’s leading. Even when that way went through a deep and narrow valley where rocks could cause a sheep to fall and boulders could hide a host of predators. Even though the way is fraught with danger, the sheep go where the shepherd directs; they trust him to use his rod to protect them and his staff to guide them.

Why? I asked myself, why does the shepherd take the sheep through such a dangerous place? The next verse gives us a clue, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Because the path leads to a place of good grass and fresh water; perhaps the only way to these delights (for sheep) is through that dangerous valley. But the sheep trust the shepherd and as a result get to enjoy the delight.

This has been a summer of “the valley of the shadows” for our family and for a number of my friends.

The anticipation of the twins and then the premature arrival of the twins had been fraught with shadows, and it looks like this valley may stretch ahead for several years. Colin, who weighted in at 1 pound, 7 ounces, now weighs about 5 pounds, but 3 months on the ventilator and 4 months of oxygen have left him with severe Chronic Lung Disease.

In ways that they and we never dreamed, Becki and John (and the rest of the family) have had to trust their shepherd-nurses and doctors, and the “Good Shepherd” every day.

Then three weeks ago Bill came home to say that he had lost most of the vision in his right eye. An emergency visit to the surgeon who had performed his cataract surgery three years ago revealed that he had retinal detachment in his right eye and a retinal tear in his left eye. Laser surgery the next day and then the insertion of a gas bubble several days later have been the “rod and staff” that we are trusting to take us through this valley as well.

We are trusting our Shepherd to restore most of Bill’s eyesight and to guide us as we adjust to whatever change in lifestyle this might mean, both with Bill’s eyes and with two new grandchildren who will need more than the usual amount of care for the next several years.

While we have struggled to walk our own path through this valley, a number of friends have had their own struggles too. At least three of our close and special friends have experienced major life changes at a time in life when you expect the way to be more smooth. Another friend who is an artist had been dealing with an injury to her hand that will take a very long time to heal and be restored. We have several other friends who are ever dealing with economic changes that will at best take years to overcome.

Often at the mouth of the valley I ask, “Why Lord? I don’t want to go down this path. It is too hard.”

The answer is always, “Trust me! Follow me! I will be with you all the way through this valley, just as I have been in all the other valleys of your life.”

This has been a summer of great pain. It has also been a summer of great learning. A summer of “little” joys that are all the more precious because they shine in the darkness of this valley.

My spiritual muscles have been stretched climbing over the rocks, my eyes have had to adjust to the dimness, but I anticipate such joy ahead because the Shepherd is leading and He has never let me fall and He had kept the wolves away all my life.